Fuck you, Russell Crowe

The roots of my contrarianism can be traced to the '00 release of Gladiator. 

On at least 3 different occasions, my Mother told me how it was a "must see", therefore I refused to see it till I was massively hungover in the Summer of '03. 

Was it horrible? No, it was fine (Phoenix has a sort of Quasimodo-hotness to him that is watchable)

Do I have some deep-rooted bitterness towards my mother for giving me her pear-shape and bad vision? No. 

I'm just a stubborn cow on a solo path to enlightenment. 

(So fuck you and your recommendation to go see Slumdog Millionaire. Because frankly, the story was just average. It was just your white, middle class guilt that made you believe it was any good. If that same story took place in Scranton, PA it would've been a Disney film with Tim Allen playing the role of the detective. )