Happy Hangovers

Let's start this posting off by saying that I am not hungover. 

However, you probably wish I was because I'm a better person when I'm hungover. 

My comedic timing is better. My jokes are funnier. I'm more talkative. More patient in meetings (because I'm too busy not giving a fuck and getting a nicotine buzz from stale cigarette smoke in my hair.)

But before you start thinking that I'm blessed or just generally better than you--i will confess--inside I feel like someone has put me on The Gravitron and force fed me carnival food for 3 hours straight. Vomitville. Also you should avoid me on the road when I'm hungover because I have the reflexes of a log. 

So what the fuck is the point of this posting? 

Stop bitching about your headache from drinking too many blackberry martini's because I guarantee I feel 20 times worse than you but I still have the fortitude to suck it up and  make fun of your mom. 

Cheers.